Journal Article Review for Alec Depcrynski
By Elizabeth Brittain
I enjoyed reading your essay because I feel like you really give a clear and descriptive description of the game of soccer. The introduction allows the reader to feel like they are able to understand why you love the game so. I liked the analogy that you use about how you cradle the ball much like a mom with her pride and joy. It gives a understanding to the reader that may not understand why you love soccer as much as you do. Everyone knows how a mother feels about her newborn baby, so it allows the reader to establish the connection.
I felt like the last couple of sentences of the first paragraph showed how soccer is portrayed among other countries, on top of the way Americans do. The last sentence in the first paragraph illustrates an important point that America has rejected it and the rest of the world has welcomed it with open arms. I felt like that showed you were going to talk about how America did not appreciate it and everyone else did.
I think the main purpose for writing the essay is so that you can raise awareness about soccer. You state that soccer is not taken for is full worth in the United States, but it is all over the world. I think that you challenge the view by putting your personal story out there because it shows that soccer is of a great amount of worth to you. I think that the essay is informative, narrative, and persuasive. I think that you did a great job incorporating all three. I think that you give enough background about the topic in order to give someone who does not appreciate soccer in the way you do. Using your own story you are able to really illustrate how soccer has influenced your life.
The next paragraph gives your story and how to learn to love the game, which I think is an important part to the essay. It allows reader to fall in love with your story, in hopes that they will be able to see the game in the ways that you did. I also think that using this paragraph establishes credibility for yourself and the game. It shows that soccer has been your passion since as long as you can remember. Also another tool that is used is making the reader aware of that fact that your dad was the General Manager for the Richmond Kickers. As a reader, it really made me feel like you really knew the game because your dad also showed a liking for it as well. Showing how you grew up with soccer shows that soccer has been a huge part of your life. At the same time I also see that you a creditable and honest when you talk about the fact that you did have all of the best equipment so you do not relate to the kids in Africa who had to make their own ball and goals. Yet you still admitted to the audience that you were spoiled, I like the honesty.
I think that you give the readers enough background information on the game itself. Enough for someone who does not follow soccer as much as you do to have a clear understanding of the game. I started to get a clear understanding of the article on the third page when you talked about how you grew up in the United States, in a place where soccer was forgotten and overlooked a sport. I think that shows the basis of the point in the text itself.
By the end of the essay I felt like I did have a clear understanding of the argument. Especially after you talk about your family trip to Equator and the Islands because through this story you yourself illustrated how you changed. I think that is a defining aspect to the paper, it showed that despite America and the rest of the world had a different view on the game of soccer it did not matter when you all actually played. Even though you all did not speak the same language, or come from the same place once you all stepped on the field you all shared one thing and that was the love for the game. Nothing else mattered. I liked the conclusion because it connected back to your new perception of the game, and how through personal experience you knew soccer could bring people together. The last sentence was on of my favorite because it admitted that you were an American, and that hits home to all.